It was two years ago that David Archuleta left for his mission. It seems like forever. Or maybe only a few weeks. I have an uncanny nonsense for time. It rivals my sense of direction which is nonexistent. “When” has no more meaning for me than “where.” I am always here. It is always now. You think I’m kidding, but when people ask me things like, how long have you worked here, lived here, I look at them with a perplexed expression on my face. I honestly don’t know. It could have been a decade ago or a few months. I was here then; I am here now. I could produce dates at any moment if given the opportunity. But I could not produce a difference in the feeling I have of my experience of then and now. For the most part, they would be the same. Time and space are simply meaningless constructs in some part of my brain that does not measure its passage or proximity.
So I am perhaps the wrong person to write this. A few days ago I published the article, “Is David Archuleta Coming Home Today?” Did I really believe he was one of the ones tapped to come home six weeks early when I posted it? No. But it pleased me to consider the possibility.
Now, I offer for your consideration this possibility. That we, all of us, are caught in some sort of time warp. Think about it. You don’t have to be temporally challenged like me to know that something is just not adding up. David did not come home on the 10th of February. We saw not a shadow of his coming so we are fated for six more weeks of waiting. Six more weeks. How long have we been saying and commenting and tweeting that we have just six more weeks to wait? By my calculation, (dubious I know, coming from me) we have been saying this now for several weeks. Yet we STILL have six more weeks to wait! Deductive reasoning will bear me out on this, thusly:
A. If six weeks ago, David was coming home in six weeks, then David should be home.
B. David is not home.
C. Time has stopped.
Elementary logic. If A is true and B is true, then it follows that C must also be true. This is just a working hypothesis and I earnestly hope that time will prove me wrong. You know, that thing that’s broke.
Is that clock even working down there? ↓