Gathered Together by David Archuleta ~ What am I Afraid of?
Posted by MT on Monday, April 2, 2012
We all know that David’s leaving has left an empty place in our lives and in our hearts that we are wondering if we can somehow fill for the next two years. I think by now we all know that the answer is no. For most of us here, nothing can replace David. We know that and have accepted it as fact. We feel that small empty place and wonder “how did that happen?” I think that empty place is the little piece of our hearts that we have given to David. Now that he’s gone, he has taken those pieces with him and there’s nothing we can do about it.
But as much as I will miss him, it isn’t ONLY about David anymore for me. It’s also about all of you.
It took me a while to realize that along with the little piece of my heart that I gave David, there was another piece that was in danger of being lost. That’s the piece that I’ve given to all of you. It’s a piece that I’m struggling to hold on to. But as long as you and I are here, that piece is still tied to me and that little place in my heart doesn’t feel empty because in it’s place is all of the warmth and friendship I’ve found here.
I’ll backtrack just a bit here and admit that I was a lurker at David’s fan sites for a very long time. Many of you became posters and writers from the very beginning. Not me. I was a latecomer to posting. Like young David, I was very shy and afraid to talk to people I didn’t know. But, when I finally broke down and joined in, I was welcomed with open arms and found some wonderful friends here. And I’m not ashamed to admit that, right now, that’s what I’m afraid of losing. It’s bad enough for me that David (who has been a never-ending source of joy to me) is leaving for two years. But, you guys, too?
Please, no. I don’t even want to think about that. And I don’t think I’m the only one who feels that way. I think one of the things hurting many of us right now is our fear of losing each other after having just lost David.
Through David we have formed bonds, found friends here. In this place, we are among people who understand us and have things in common with us. We are a very diverse group of people from all walks of life, but we have discovered that we don’t need to be the same to be here for each other. Here, we have found people we can laugh with, cry with, sympathize with, and squee with, even though we are scattered across the country and around the world.
We are all joined at the hearts, hearts tied with pretty ribbons that all lead back to David. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to cut the ribbon if it starts to fray. I’m holding on tight. For me, walking away from David or this fan base is just not an option.
So, will we all be here six months from now, a year from now, or two years? I certainly hope so, because I don’t want to be here alone. I need you guys here to squee with me and celebrate when David comes home. And between now and then we’ll be sharing his music along with laughter, smiles, hugs, and tears just like we always have.
We’re still here and we’ll make it through with the help of each other. This can still be our happy place if we let it. I think if we just take it one day at a time, we’ll be just fine.
Our time here for the next two years will be what we make of it. So smile! You and I are both still here. And it’s a Good Place.