I wasn’t on my laptop the night I watched David’s “Before the Cut” vlog. I was on my iTouch and was waiting for it to load because our internet signal at night is usually so weak. When I finally watched it, I felt a sadness engulf me once more. I thought all this time that I was doing okay knowing less and less about what’s happening in the Archuworld. But even if that vlog was less than half a minute long, it made me ponder on how unhappy I had been not being able to write about David, and that I missed drawing his angelic face. I paused the video at certain spots to find his nice angles. Then accidentally the video froze on his profile which was very similar to the last one I drew of him.
It was uncanny that it froze there because I didn’t even notice that he had such an angle when I watched it previously. Normally, when the video is paused, the image would become dark after some time as is the usual case when the iTouch goes on idle mode, then you have to touch the screen to re-activate it to go back to the previous image. This time, the image of his profile JUST STAYED ON! The screen never went dark, and no matter what I pressed on the image to make the video play again or to stop it, the image of his profile stayed there, unrelenting. I waited for the screen to go dark after several minutes, but it didn’t! My iTouch hanged, but was it coincidence that it chose to freeze on that significant pose? I then realized what was happening. I was being given a sign not to give up on David, despite everything that happened during the past month, and despite all the hurt I was going thru. I need to fulfill my promise to him that I’ll be here for him during his absence and especially when he comes back in 2014. I intend to do so but quietly. However, that image staying there for so long made me feel the message so strongly that I wept and sobbed, cupping my face with both hands in the privacy of my room. Thank God my husband and kids were downstairs busy doing their own stuff. They didn’t see how swollen my face became from crying so much. I then acknowledged that God must know my struggle and that it’s His way of telling me that David is worth all of it, that being an Archie is something I can no longer run away from, that there is a reason for my being one.
With that realization, and because that image remained immovable on my iTouch’s screen, I then turned on my laptop to look for that video on YouTube so that I could download it and make a screen capture of the frozen profile image. I was still tearful so it took me some time to find the exact moment of the profile, but I was finally able to save it. On the larger screen of my laptop, I could now see that he had a bigger smile than on the sketch that I drew, that he was truly happy and looking forward to his mission. It made such a deep impact on me that the video froze at that exact moment to comfort me in my sadness, and that Someone knows what I’m going through.
Noticing that my iTouch was still on the same frozen image even after I had successfully screen-captured it, I then thought of taking a photo of my iTouch to document what happened. But when I was ready with my camera and focused on it, the screen went dark. I tried to revive my iTouch, but it didn’t recover the image. Instead it warned that the battery was low and needed to be charged. This happened after the image was on for almost an hour. It was as if it waited for me to capture it on my laptop. Right after that, I tweeted David that I had just gotten a strong message from his vlog. I wonder if he ever read it, but don’t expect that he did, knowing how busy he was at that time.
The next day, David released his very last video blog before he entered the MTC. I thought I would cry again after watching it, but I didn’t. Amazingly, I felt happy and peaceful, both for him and for me, because I was given an assurance that I am still in this journey with David and that I should keep the faith stronger than ever. I am convinced all the more that God has a plan for David which he still has to fulfill, and I have to stick around to witness him fulfill it.
I still have to know what God wants me to do after all this. I keep praying for an answer, and so far I have been receiving bits and pieces which always lead me back to David. Until then, I remain a faithful Archie, waiting for the imminent return of our beloved David Archuleta.
Ascphil is a guest writer for The Voice